The Joyful Boss: On Being the Bearer of Good News

Be the joyful boss.

"I know I'm at my best when the people who work for me can't wait to share their good news. They know I can hold their joy with care because they have seen how I hold my own."

When I accepted the role of Interim Director at two (!) youth centers in early 2017,  I carved out what kind of (temporary) boss I wanted to be for others. I had to be myself -high standards with a hefty dose of compassion. But when you rely on coaching as your management style, how do you develop trust and demonstrate that you're an expert without being a pompous ass?  Consider this: Smiling might be the answer. 

We tend to think that we can motivate employees by showing them how hard we work. We hope that through osmosis they'll absorb our work ethic and be inspired to put in extra time. However, that approach leaves our employees feeling a relational distance to their supervisors. How can a part-time staff member ever outwork a well-benefitted, full-time supervisor who has power?

But what if we took on a different approach? What if we led others by sharing with them the joyful moments?  Instead of telling them, "I worked 70 hours last week," or "I haven't eaten all day," what if we spent more time talking about our shared successes? What if we shared more examples of how of our efforts are bringing about a positive change? What if we talked about how good the work makes us feel? 

Cue the Kumbaya song.

I had an integrity gut-check in late spring. A few weeks into the role one of my new team members labeled me as "soft-spoken." It bothered me. I asked everyone and their mama if they would agree with that description of me. My go-to truth teller laughed and asked,  "I'm sorry M, but are you being yourself in front of new people?" I am many things, but I don't think anyone would ever call me soft-spoken. I'm not a yeller, but there ain't anything subtle about my approach to work or life.  

I went on a reflection and journaling binge, overanalyzing all of my actions. I found that I was still taking charge in all of my usual ways: I had reorganized spaces, adjusted systems and processes, and had even made (difficult) personnel changes. I was being myself (action orientated with a healthy dose of anxiety), but they weren't used to someone in charge demonstrating that kind of energy. I also knew I wasn't faking it. I was genuinely happy to be in a new place with new challenges. 

Slowly, the feedback became less about the sound of my voice, but about my energy. Young people were even asking, "Why do you smile so much?" Staff slowly followed suit, saying that I was always in a good mood. It's not that I wasn't tired or that I didn't feel overwhelmed, it's that I made a choice that whenever I walked into a space, no matter how late I was running or how behind I was on my to-do list, I would say hello to everyone. I would smile. I would ask about their day. I'd ask about all of the good things, not just about the things they needed me to fix. 

I know I'm at my best when the people who work for me can't wait to share their good news. They know that I can hold their joy with care because they have seen how I hold my own. And doesn't that make sense? We're not looking for the leader who can outrun us or who can point out all of our flaws, we're just looking for that one person we can high-five at the end of a long day who will celebrate alongside us. Why not be that? Be the joyful boss.